Yes, that’s right – you can pay for a young lady to kiss you in a private room (Korean). Apparently, it’s becoming a popular method for female college students to earn some cash for tuition. Additional services do not seem to be included.

Probably these girls earn their pay – and that’s not just lip service…

North Korean scientists have developed a new kind of noodle that delays feelings of hunger, a Japan-based pro-Pyongyang newspaper has reported.

[…]

They left people feeling fuller longer and represented a technological breakthrough, the newspaper said.

[…]

“When you consume ordinary noodles (made from wheat or corn), you may soon feel your stomach empty. But this soybean noodle delays such a feeling of hunger,” it said on its website.

This story immediately reminded me of “soylent green.” I’m sure North Korea can make a nutritious noodle based on soy, but have doubts about it really being new, and don’t believe for a second that it will be distributed to the population in any meaningful manner. Perhaps a few elites, perhaps not. For now most North Koreans get by on their version of famine bread.

UFG is not about polishing warfighting skills, but more a test of command, control, and communications functions in wartime conditions, using computer-simulated scenarios of possible contingencies on the peninsula. The goal is to familiarize participants in the processes involved and identify problems, for example with command structures or communications systems. North Korea has declared the exercise a proactive act:

“The Korean People’s Army will not stand idly by as the bellicose forces in the U.S. and the South mount the Ulchi Freedom Guardian as conservative U.S. hard-liners brand us a rogue state again and erase a series of progress made on denuclearizing the Korean peninsula,” the spokesman said.

While the name has changed, North Korea is still faithfully playing its part.

Update: Some text from a 2006 post on the namesake of the exercise…

The South Korean portion of the exercise name, Ulchi, is in honor of a Koguryo general, Ulchi Mundok (을지문덕):

. . . was a noted military leader of early 7th century Goguryeo, one of the Three Kingdoms of Korea. Often numbered among the greatest heroes in Korean military history, he defended Goguryeo against the Sui Chinese.

Mundeok was born in the mid-6th century and died sometime after 618, although the exact date is unknown. At the time of his birth, the kingdom of Goguryeo had grown to a powerful and belligerent empire, constantly warring with its neighbours, Chinese states to its north and west, and its fellow Korean kingdoms Silla and Baekje to its southeast and southwest respectively.

Image from here.

There are basically three other general possibilities should Kim Jong-il die and dynastic succession not occur; 1) group or collective leadership; 2) a senior government official could take charge, or; 3) an outside power could move in to restore order and take control.

Because there is a complete absence of an opposition party or group in-or-outside North Korea, that option is extremely unlikely and so is not considered here.

Group or Collective Leadership

Group or collective leadership by a political or military institution, or some combination thereof is perhaps the most likely scenario. The Korea Workers Party (KWP), National Defense Commission (NDC), or some sort of joint committee formed from both of those organizations and perhaps others, could fill the leadership void after Kim’s death.

I consider this most likely since these leaders a) have a vested interest in maintain the status quo and b) currently understand and run the machinery of the DPRK government, such as it is. It’s also possible such a group would use of Kim Jong-il’s sons as a figure head for legitimacy.

A New Leader

A senior official from a political or military institution could assume control after Kim’s death, perhaps taking the title of Kim’s current position as Chairman of the NDC. Examples include Kim Yong-nam (김영남), the de facto head of state since 1998 (per the DPRK constitution) or Chang Sŏng’taek (장성택), brother-in-law of Kim Jong-il and former KWP official. A general officer could also attempt to assume control.

This is slightly less likely that collective leadership as Kim Jong-il, as far as we know, currently does not allow any one person to accumulate much influence.

Foreign Intervention

Finally, there is the possibility that North Korea elites will be unable to form a cohesive government and that no one person emerges as a leader after Kim Jong-il’s death. The likely result would be chaos and intervention from either the UN command (i.e., the U.S. and South Korea), or China, depending on the specific circumstances at the time and events beforehand.

If it became apparent North Korea was drifting into chaos, it could trigger the U.S. to execute CONPLAN 5029 to secure weapons of mass destruction, perhaps including nuclear weapons, and attempt to restore a semblance of order. Depending on how such a move is carried out, the state of North Korea’s military at that time, and myriad other factors, such an action could go smoothly or trigger fighting with elements of North Korea’s million-plus-man army.

North Korea’s military leadership could also initiate hostilities, which might leader the U.S. and South Korea to execute OPLAN 5027 - basically a second Korean War.

The Korean People’s Army (KPA) would not survive a confrontation with U.S. and ROK forces, but could inflict severe casualties or those forces as well as civilian populations. The ultimate outcome would be reunification under South Korea’s system, which has it’s own set of pit-falls.

If the U.S. is still occupied in Iraq and Afghanistan, and depending in how events unfold, China’s military could be in a better position to occupy North Korea first, restoring order and keeping a buffer zone between its territory and U.S. Forces Korea (USFK). This could lead to conflict between China and South Korea, and could draw in the U.S.

Conclusion

The bottom line is that no one knows who the next North Korean leader will be, perhaps or even likely including North Korean leadership. I lead towards group or collective leadership as I see the elite doing whatever they can to retain power.

Such a group may fail, bringing about collapse, war, or both. Or they could take the opportunity to retain control while, finally, adopting drastic reforms without the need to maintain the ridiculous Kim family cult.

We probably don’t have that many years to wait until Kim Jong-il dies. . .